30p Challenge - Ready Steady Cook (with fuck all)

This article is accurate as of 11^th May 2022

 

30p

 

Ashfield MP, Lee Anderson, is a Conservative MP. A proud Tory. Lee Anderson has asserted that 30p is enough money to survive, per day, in the UK. 

This Tory feels strongly that ordinary, tax paying Britons are simply unable to budget their money. This MP also feels that it is because the British population cannot cook that they are financially poor. Again, this Tory MP insists that 30p a day is enough for a human to buy food in Britain. 

OK. Let’s do some homework. I will use the website of XE for this.

 

30p is:

 

28.5 Indian Rupees

0.52 Australian Dollars

1,319 Ugandan Shillings

374.9 Rwandan Francs 

0.000198390431322 Gold Ounces 

0.001896647515022 Bitcoin Cash

923 Syrian Pounds

 

30p is actually quite a lot then! Especially if you consider that Lee Anderson claimed a mere £220,000 in his expenses (on top of his wages) in just one year.

 

£220,000 divided by 365 days in a year = Lee Anderson spending £602.73 a day.

If we were to share Lee’s daily spending, by his reckoning, he could feed 2009 people a day by giving each of them 30p. 

 

So this Tory claims expenses to the tune of 2009 voters in the UK (by his belief that 30p is enough a day to live upon). Amazing! 

This is not a parody, joke or anything other than the farcical world that we live in. How can anyone believe that 30p is enough to feed themselves in the UK? 

Even if you are a Michelin Star chef with the budgeting skills of a forensic accountant, it is impossible.

Not only is it not plausible, it is offensive to suggest that it is possible. 

Even more so by an MP that spends/claims an average of £602.73 a day of tax payers money. Lee claims this money so that he does not have to use his MP’s wage to pay for food! 

A lovely brunch or Afternoon tea. All this heavily subsidised in the Commons by taxpayers! What can you buy in the Commons for 30p? 

 

Food Bank

 

Luckily we have food banks! They are the normal person’s equivalent of Subsidised Commons booze in the eyes of Lee Anderson. Get yourself to your local charity and accept what you are given. You then use that 30p for trimmings and luxuries. Treat yourself. 

I remember when celebrities and MP’s were called upon to officially open new civil buildings. These were buildings that stood for social progression. You know, like a swimming baths or a library. A GP’s surgery or a shopping centre! The celebrity got their publicity and the MP got to bask in the limelight of the celebrity and stand on the shoulders of those locals that had worked hard to get the local amenity from planning to fruition. 

The local advocates for change are condemned to nothingness and the MP, Monarch, Mayor and Celebrity gets their name on a plaque to commemorate their hard work in turning up and cutting a ribbon. Then off they will go for a free lunch (there is such a thing for some) and await the Press to publicise what great patrons of society they are. 

What a strange tradition! I accept it though because it is great when society progresses and does not remain static. Improving public amenities is a welcome and worthy cause. 

To this end, please let me give a big thank you to Rosanna Currans (Tory councillor in Dartford) for upholding this tradition. 

This Tory cut the ribbon on a new food bank in Dartford this week. Yep. This Tory did this. For you! You are welcome! She was overjoyed to be photographed at this event. Jeremy Kite MBE cut the silken cloth to declare the establishment open. He then went inside to eat. Seriously. I shit you not. A lovely, if not slightly decadent spread had been provided for the local dignitaries.

A strict 30p per head budget was obviously {not} in place. Frivolous catering was the fare here! Cakes! Let them eat them…

This entire spectacle unfolded with all involved beaming like Cheshire Cats in their moment in the limelight. The Grand unveiling of a FOOD BANK! A place where the hungry, desperate and underpaid people have to assemble for charity donations of food! 

 

I am not smiling like these Tories. 

30p.

Fuck off.