The Myriad of Brexit Benefits. Suck it up LOSERS

The European Union & The Benefits of the UK leaving 


Too quick are people to scoff at the Brexiteer. 


Some mock them by calling them a Gammon. Feel pity for them saying that they were duped.


NO MORE OF THIS! 


HERE ARE AT LEAST 10 BENEFITS OF BREXIT. #TeamGammon 

 

1.    Leaving the EU has made it possible to say, if you are daft, that ‘we won.’

2.    Not only can you say ‘we won,’ but you can say ‘we got Brexit done.’ Both are catchy and make the orator sound extremely justified and knowledgable of Global Markets, trade and political shtick. Short and snappy is the modus operandi. We can 'take back control' and be 'Britain for British.' Such semantics with short syntax is fabulous for a demanding audience (of KS1 children excited by rhyming words and often monosyllabic vocabulary). Here is Gammon that is incited by such patter. 

3.    Now you can say ‘we have taken back control of fishing.’ Except the fishing rights that were already sold to other countries. They are to be ignored. 

4.    Also, you can say ‘we have taken back control of our borders.’ We can say this. Only in the same way that a person can say that they can survive throwing themselves out of a plane at 40,000 feet, devoid of a parachute. Yes, it can be said. Just that it has not one semblance of truth (the survival part).

5.    Now it is nice to assert that your passport will be a different colour. This in itself is a major benefit. Some children have favourite colours too. Brexit caters for all. It is differentiation for the masses. Whilst one may enjoy Freedom of Movement, another may like eating wax crayons. 

6.    The UK is now ‘world beating’ at everything. Truly epic at 'soulless slogans.' 'Pioneers of Pandering Propaganda.' The UK is 'stupendous with spin & sleaze.' Remember, you can proudly say 'we won.' Winning is always nice, even if in winning you do not win, are unsure as to what you have won or indeed, actually lost.  

7.    There were too many jobs in the UK and so it is good to see many companies moving their business & investments out of the UK. This includes Jacob Rees-Mogg (Minister for Brexit Opportunities & the Back-Up Minister of Sinister for if Gove is on glue again).

8.    Life was too quick in the EU. Now you can take your time as you queue at Customs. You can also remember to be furious that you have to wait because 'we got Brexit done' and so should not have such problems. 

9.    We were becoming spoilt by the forced gluttony that the EU imposed. The array of food on offer needed to be culled. Now we are humbled as we see food shortages. Farmers now will not be subsidised by the EU and so will be able to have crops fail whilst knowing that they should try harder in the future. Keeps agricultural workers on their toes and continually striving to be better. 

10.   In the EU you were doomed to stay in the same job! Boring! Now you are able to be made redundant, without any notice by your employer. No more pesky red-tape of having to sign employment contracts that gave you Rights. 

 

These are world-beating benefits. 

 

*Scotland is able to leave the UK now (knowing that they leave behind a world-beating Kingdom! Scotland could then join the EU and suffer all of the benefits and £trillion trade deals. 

**Thank goodness that there is nothing rumbling in Northern Ireland 

***Wales gets the above 10 benefits because of their majority vote for leaving the EU. Lucky Wales and England! 

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