God Save Over 300 Years Of Expensive Pointlessness - The British Monarchy
So what is the actual purpose of having a Monarchy in the UK?
I like it when people answer this by stating that TOURISM is MASSIVE due to the Monarchy. OK, so how many tourists have actually visited the UK and met one of the Monarchs? I shall make the guess of ‘none’ apart from a few that may have met a fiddly-prince in an imaginary encounter in a Pizza Express (imaginary as it exists only in his befuddled mind).🍕
So, the draw then is the traditions and the history of the Monarchy, dating back to when the Monarch’s ruled! (characters like King Henry VIII, and all that he did for Feminism).
Tourists, like to have their photo taken outside of Buckingham Palace. Just the same as when you visit Versailles as a tourist. This is possible whether or not anyone actually lives within the building.
In 373 years the Monarchy have managed to amass a sizeable fortune. The Queen owns a decent amount of jewellery. Might be able to give H Samuels a run for their money! Depends on how many Fabergé Eggs are stocked in H Samuels these days. 👑
The Crown Estate. This is a collection of land and various holdings dotted around the UK. Any profits on these estates gives 25% straight to the Royal Family. Obviously, this is not enough to survive upon. You cannot eat a Fabergé Egg and the soldiers that guard your London Palace cannot be dipped into it either! (This is a rubbish egg and soldier pun that I am ashamed of)!
So, the Queen obviously also has a Privy Purse. How very splendid for her! This is another juicy source of funding for her personal wealth. It is passed down from Sovereign to Sovereign and it gets its money from the Duchy of Lancaster. This Purse is sourced from 45,700 acres of farmland and landholdings. London’s Savoy Hotel is also located upon this land. Town & Country reported that in 2020 profits from the Duchy of Lancaster “hit £24 million.” Bit of extra pocket change. It comes in handy when you get those horrible, unexpected expenditures such as a broken boiler, a replacement school uniform, fault with your vehicle or your past sexual assaults needing to be hushed.
How much was it that Prince Andrew paid Virginia Giuffre, who he did not abuse, so he could avoid going to court where he would surely clear his name? Some say about £12 million. The Privy Purse still has an extra £12 million, after paying the victim, so that you still have some left in savings in case your boiler does decide to fuck up in mid-January. Or if it comes to the public eye that you abused someone else on a billionaire, paedophile’s private island. In that case you would be able to pay the hush money, but would have to wait to get the boiler fixed.
It would be easy to highlight all of the Noncense of Prince Andrew. No point though. It is a simple case of class-privileges. People like Andrew are tricky and slippery. The tricky verb is how Jimmy Savile described himself. Sorry, beg your pardon ma’am! SIR Jimmy Savile. Close friend and confident of Prince Charles. Pen pals! I foolishly forgot that this particular person was Knighted.
Moving swiftly on…Buckingham Palace was valued at £2.3 billion. This was back in April 2016. It is likely that this property would be valued at more than this now in 2022. Everything else has escalated in price. This is a decent asset to have. Right in the centre of London. Even better that it has a throne. Sort of a make-believe throne though as the Monarchy have not ruled the UK for 373 years! It is fun to play Monarch and sit on a throne. Maybe even wear an obscenely bejewelled crown to add to the roleplay. What jolly good fun.
On the recent State Opening of Parliament, the Queen’s crown was chauffeur driven through the streets of London…in a Rolls Royce. Britons have been instructed by a Member of the Parliament that 30p is enough for food each day. Tory MP, Lee Anderson, asserts that 30p is enough for Britons to ‘be able to feed themselves.’
A fancy hat, adorned with dubiously sourced decorations, gets a Rolls Royce ride though. 😲 An inanimate object is afforded more luxury, safety and courtesy than the vast majority of the population in the UK.
If you think that this is all acceptable and normal then fair enough. Why wouldn’t you? We are bombarded with so much bullshit that it is hard to know what is righteous, Just or reasonable. We have been conditioned to be subservient.
Personally, I think that shit is now so bad and the UK is so un-united and divided that the most bat-shit craziness is given a free-pass. An example of how we are doomed is food banks being opened by Tories who happily smile for publicity pictures and cut a ribbon to declare the local amenity OPEN for business.
The Monarchy is of NO use.
However, REMEMBER it has been this way for 373 YEARS!
With all of the other madness occurring around us, I find it implausible that the Monarchy will be going Private any time soon. The Government will not tell them to shove it. The public is polarised on almost everything and so this will be no different. Others are just apathetic.
So, here is to another 373 years of the Monarchy {not} ruling… not unless they themselves decide to do the honourable act and abolish themselves.
...Harry did (sort of).
Comments
Post a Comment